Midwife Frustrations!

In the last post I alluded to frustrations that Lauren and I have been feeling with our midwife practice. Here is a run-down of our recent midwife drama and why we are strongly considering finding a new practice:

Last Wednesday (February 24th), I called the office and left a message complaining of shortness of breath. Nobody called me back. The following day (Thursday the 25th), I called and they referred me to the emergency line where the midwife on call told me to get blood work done because they wanted to test me for anemia. She said that I should expect a call on Monday (March 1st) with results. They never called. Ever. All day I waited to hear why I couldn’t breathe, why I was experiencing gasping for air. Nothing.

Luckily perhaps, Monday, March 1st I started throwing up with suspected food poisoning and called the emergency line on Tuesday at 4 a.m. The nurse midwife played it off like it was nothing and simply told me to try to get fluids, which I eventually did.

On Wednesday the 3rd I started to feel like I was coming down with a cold and my shortness of breath came back. Quickly and intently.

On Thursday the 4th,I called to talk to someone and see if they had my blood test results. The receptionist who has previously forgotten to call me back when we spoke on the phone, said they didn’t have my results at that time, but that if there was something wrong she was sure someone would have called. She asked me to call back on Friday morning to see if she could put her hands on my results.

I called Friday at 8:30 a.m. and left a message saying that I was feeling worse, coughing up yellow/green mucus and was heading to the emergency room for treatment. I mentioned that I would appreciate a call back with lab results. Again, no response. I said I was heading to the emergency room in the hospital where they deliver so that I could be seen and maybe we could touch base. Nothing. I said I was upset because we hadn’t heard from them. NOTHING.

At the hospital I was diagnosed with the beginning stage of pneumonia, bronchitis and a bladder infection! Not just a little tickle in my throat!!!!!

We really want to deliver in a hospital with a midwife because I am not comfortable with the idea of a home birth for us, but the concentration is on having a midwife. I really do not want an OB.

But now… I am just so pissed off at them for not getting back to me at all and being so non-chalant that I cannot stand the thought of being with them. Everyone said that we should keep our appointment with them on the 22nd and tell them our concerns, but at this point I don’t know what they could do that would ease my mind.

It’s so frustrating… AND THEY WERE VOTED THE BEST MIDWIVES IN MARYLAND! Ugh.

Most of the other midwife groups we found do homebirths which we are not prepared to do. I really really don’t want to move to an OB and lose my chance at a natural childbirth with little interventions…

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7 thoughts on “Midwife Frustrations!

  1. Rene!

    Just because you pick and OB does not mean you will lose your chance at a natural childbirth. No one can MAKE you get an epidural if you don’t want one. Most MDs try to respect any woman’s desire for “natural childbirth” Just meet with someone else and see how they respond to your plans.

    -Amanda (trying to make sure OBs don’t get a bad rep!)

    • I know I know. I just don’t want to end up with someone who says “oh, yes I support Natural childbirth” and then when push comes to shove says ok… we think an episiotomy and some pitocin is the way to go… hurry up with your degree, will ya!

  2. Stick to your gut instinct!!!! If your gut is telling you to find someone else, then please, please listen to it. God put that little voice there for us for a reason. She’s a smart cookie!

    When I was in the hospital gasping for air and trying every position to get some relief my OB had the nerve to tell me to “stop being a delicate little flower!” Well… I wasn’t being a “delicate flower.” Turns out, I had congenital heart failure – fluid on my lungs and heart and my heart was enlarged.

    It sounds to me like they aren’t listening to you. I hope you listen to your instincts here. 🙂

    Good luck! –A

  3. I don’t really understand your hesitation with an ob — I’ve loved them, and I’ve had midwifes too. From my experience, and apparently from yours, midwifes are much, much more hands off and less “worried” for lack of a better word.

    I have loved my obs, male and female, and I find the more experience they have, the more they listen to the mother. Really. I would say find an ob that works for you, and hire a doula!

    We used a doula with Henry, our first, and she was incredible. Right by our side the whole time, knew tricks and tips that I never would have known and the nurses wouldn’t have necessarily known, and she was an incredible advocate. Three of the doctors at my practice all have 20+ years experience, and swear by good doulas. When ob shopping, which sounds like what you might have to do, ask how they feel about doulas; might be telling.

    Good luck!
    ~Nina

  4. I’ve heard so many times that there are some midwives who act more like OBs, and some OBs who act more like midwives. I’d imagine that it’s really the quality of care you’re after, not the title of the caregiver, and it sounds like the midwife practice you’re with isn’t giving you the quality of care you need. If you know that for a fact, but you’re just assuming that any OB you’d find would somehow force you to have a medicated birth, it sounds to me like you’re compromising your own health and shooting yourself in the foot a bit.

  5. Hey Chicas! I got a little behind here on posts so I am just catching up now….

    Shortness in breath is really common during pregnancy but perhaps you’ve already learned that since you posted. Obviously you had some other things going on (all the sickness) but I know that in my last pregnancy I started experiencing difficulty breathing very early on, long before I put any pounds on. It went away completely after the baby was born.

    Have you picked up the Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth, yet? I think this would be a great book for you to read. The Birth Partner by Simkin is an awesome book for Lauren to read…though I got a lot out of it too.

    I am glad to hear things have improved with the midwives since this post. I am not anti-OB but I do think you’ve got to surround yourself with those who you think are aligned with you the most – those who see labor as physiological as opposed to pathological.

    Thinking about you way over here and so glad to hear things are going better now. Yay for the 2nd trimester!!

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