One of These Things is Not Like the Other

Lauren and I spent this past weekend only saying nice things. But today is Monday… so here’s my little rant from this evening’s yoga class.

Before the rant can begin I have to once again thank our friend for her very generous gift of the class for me. The yoga aspect is wonderful and helpful and great. The stretching, moving and relaxation is fantastic and Baby Bunny loves it. The people in the class, however, are almost too good to be true.

Tonight, as I was waiting for class to start, another classmate arrived with a GIANT coke from McDonald’s, finishing an apple pie. Now, I am not going to lie and say that I do not give in to fast food every now and then (very infrequently), but I just could not imagine how her poor belly would feel after eating that and then bending all around. This same girl also came in with a liter sized Pepsi last week. I hope she is drinking lots of water at home.

Then, during our little break in class, someone asked me how far along I am. Most of the gals are between 25 and 28 weeks along, so I am definitely the furthest along. When I told them that I didnt have much more time and how far along I was, my favorite soda guzzling friend said, “Oh, aren’t you getting scared? I know I am terrified of birth!”

Now, this has become my #1 pet peeve, and everytime someone says it, it makes my skin crawl and makes me so angry at the media, doctors, etc.

I am not terrified, scared, nervous or anxious about birth. I am eagerly looking forward to it and am embracing it as a natural process that my body was designed to do. I cannot wait to share in the intensity, emotion and joy of the labor and delivery process with Lauren and our family. I think it is a beautiful thing and am so sad for those who are so scared of letting their bodies and nature bring a life into the world.

This weekend, as we finished our birth plan, Lauren and I just sat and smiled at each other. We talked about how wonderful this is going to be, how much we are looking forward to every contraction, every moment of birth and how gorgeous it will be. I find birth to be an empowering opportunity and only wish others saw it that way instead of in the screaming, arm pulling, angry way that movies and shows portray.

I have so much more to say on this topic, but I am going to limit my little rant to what is already here. I did voice my opinion to my yoga classmates. I did so to affirm my own decision, but mainly to encourage them to take their labor and delivery into their own hands and embrace this great experience. I don’t know if it will make an impact on anyone’s decisions in labor, but I hope at least they will consider their options, other than “my doctor told me I don’t need a birth plan — that’s why I have him” (honestly said tonight!).

Happy baby birthing to all (rant done).

** UPDATE**Β Β  To clarify a little bit, Lauren and I are aware that things do not always (or ever really) go as planned. We can write the most detailed birth plan as we want and this baby will do what she wants. In no way did I intend to make it seem like a natural birth was the only way for us or that having an intervention means a failure or an issue — but it is our goal. Lauren reminds me constantly that as much as I want to use the waterbirthing tub, it just might not happen, and I have come to accept that. Does it keep me from hoping and dreaming? No, but it just make me realize that what happens, happens.Β  I am in awe of all of the moms out there and their birth stories and hope that I can be as strong of a role model and guide for little Lillian as you all are. XO.


4 thoughts on “One of These Things is Not Like the Other

  1. You both are encouraging. Welcoming Baby Bunny in such a beautiful was, to two wonderful women. I have been a labor coach twice and the miracle of it all changed me. The Universe worked in such beautiful ways. To see the new life enter the world and express herself was beyond words. Continue to be positive you both certainly are!

  2. The one thing I learned is that as much as you plan, be flexible. You never know what’s going to happen. It’s all going to go the way it’s supposed to be and then you end up with the most awesome gift. I felt like a failure for a while because I got the epidural, but then I realized that I would have never been able to get her out without it. And I still plan to try “au naturale” next time… Good Luck with everything.

  3. Hmm..I’ve been thinking about this all day trying to determine how to respond, because I have mixed emotions. On one hand, YOU KNOW I think it’s awesome and woderful that you and L are so excited and looking forward to BB’s arrival in such a exhilerating way. πŸ™‚ On the other hand, I can relate to those women who are afraid of the birth process. Not that I was myself (I wasn’t scared at all, I wanted her OUT!) but I wasn’t looking forward to it. To compare, when I hiked up the side of a mountain in Hawaii to see a beautiful waterfall at the end, I found it to be exhilerating! Amazing! The wonders of nature! Some people I know would’ve found this experience exhausting, uncomfortable, and anti-climactic. It’s all about what you get enjoyment out of. No part of me was looking forward to the birth process, I just wanted to meet my baby–regardless of how she came out. πŸ™‚ To me, it was just one more day in Sadira and my lives (though a very exciting one!), like a wedding is to a marriage. I truly didn’t care how she came into the world and feel no regret that she was breech and came via C-section. I was already impressed that my body was able to create this awesome little person, I didn’t really have anything else I needed to prove to myself.
    I was lucky that I had an OB that I loved and respected. We were on the same page from day 1, so I didn’t make a birth plan. I knew he’d advocate for me the way I wanted because we discussed it at length (and he did!) but if he didn’t, I knew I’d do it for myself. I don’t feel robbed of my birth experience, nor do I feel the need to “take back my birth.”
    I do feel sad for the women who feel as if they failed, or were robbed of something because their birth didn’t go how they had hoped. Creating life is amazing in and of itself, and no one should feel as if she failed as a mother just because her baby didn’t make its arrival they way she wanted. 😦
    Sorry for the novel-comment!! πŸ˜‰

  4. I completely understand what you’re feeling and thinking. I had all 3 of my little people in 3 different ways and each different from my birth plan. And although that may be sad for some, i loved the empowerment I had in planning my ideal birth. I too wanted to have as natural as a birth as possible and basically succeeded with exception of c-section for baby #1. I was told, why bother with #2,3 birth plan. But I did and had a very natural birth with them! I was the mom with the doula and was educated on every part of pregnancy, labor, post pardum etc. To be frank, labor is hard. It’s all not exactly lovely. It is a beautiful, life changing event…combined with pain, pooping and vomiting for some (me). So movies do get it right. But from a mom that’s done it a few times, I am prideful for what I’ve done.I embraced my womanhood, my nature, I overcame my modern day desire to numb the pain and I embraced the experience, not for myself, but for my babies health. When things changed, as in #1’s case, my plan changed, and that was proof of my desire to mother first.

    I can’t wait to read what you’ll write about breast feeding. The way you feel about birthing is how I feel about nursing. I can admit, I’m a breastfeeding snob and when I see moms filling bottles with formula, I feel sorry for them and their babies. (it’s aweful, I know). Like the girl with the liter of pepsi….”don’t you love your baby in a way that you can give up a lot of your selfish whims in order to give her the best start?!” many new parents should read about epigenetics!

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