Lillian has a bright pink toy that she can stand up and play with. It is great because she loves to hit the buttons, especially the lion, which says “I’m the lion, please go slow.”
Well, today I feel like the lion.
I have been slowly weaning Lillian from breastfeeding for about 2 weeks now. First dropping the afternoon pump at work over 5 days, then dropping the 10:30 a.m. pump at work and as of this morning, dropping the first-thing-in-the-morning feeding (or pumping on work days). The only feeding left to drop is the bedtime feeding, which I will drop next weekend. I knew this was coming, but I think I always blocked it out. But I prepared myself last night for this morning being the last time I breastfed her in the morning, and even told her last night how much I loved doing it and how happy I was that we were able to do it for 10 whole months.
I guess nothing could prepare me for the waterworks show that I then put on this morning when Lillian was done nursing. I know I have the evening one still for this week, but it definitely made me sad. I was thinking of all the morning feedings with a tiny little baby in our bed, and it just made me a little nostalgic. This week I am going to really appreciate every night time feeding and will cherish these more than any other feeding before. I know she is getting bigger, and I am honestly so sick of pumping at work or in bathrooms or odd places around town when I have meetings. I felt a bit selfish for wanting to wean, but she is healthy, happy and growing so I know I have done my job. I am just going to miss the bonding, but I know that I will still do nighttime feedings with a bottle and we will modify our bonding to a new, big girl bonding. It’s all a part of growing up, I suppose.
And if I wasn’t already having an emotional day today, when I went in to get her this morning for her morning feeding, my little munchkin was sitting up in her crib! She is a champion sitter, but this was the first time she got there from lying on her back. And then what did she do??? She grabbed onto the crib and stood up when I came over.
But wait… there’s more!!!
Then… when we put our finger in her mouth to see if her gummy little mouth had changed — she had a tooth!! Her first tooth!!!!
So, today… I am going to take on the role of Lillian’s beloved lion and ask her to please go slowly. Mama can’t handle too many more changes in such a short period of time.